Written By: Pinky Grace Francisco – Big Island, Hawaii
Fourteen years… each year is a tapestry of nostalgic memories…a kaleidoscope of mixed emotions—bittersweet experiences, silent screams, flashes of cold fire, moments of shattered peace…a journey of joy and sorrow, failure and triumph, stepping forward and stepping back, procrastination and growth, and endless discovery of myself through being lost. Yes, fourteen years of a roller coaster ride in teaching.
When conversations lead to questions about why I pursued teaching, my typical response is a smile. Initially, it felt more like a coerced path. Due to financial constraints, my father offered me options: Teaching or Halting. Neither option seemed ideal, but teaching beckoned as the better choice. It is better to pursue teaching than nothing. It is better to be somebody you are not interested in than to be nobody at all.
I dreamt of being in the medical field yet our financial challenges thwarted those aspirations. With its promise of abundance in scholarships, teaching stood as a pragmatic alternative. I told myself that once I graduate, I will follow my heart.
Thus, I journeyed toward a Bachelor’s in Secondary Education, specializing in English with a determined mind but a reluctant heart. I internalized an act of diligence and excellence. It was a guise of "fake it till you make it," a masquerade to conceal my ambivalence.
Then, unexpectedly, I was offered to teach at a Saturday Bible School. With a smirk, I accepted it because of the enticing compensation. This enabled me to meet Riz and Jen, students who have low self-esteem yet are very capable of anything. Ville, Joyce, and Charm, who had the habit of isolating themselves because of self-doubt. In the duration of my three-year Bible teaching, I saw them metamorphose into more confident and socially engaged individuals.
I landed my first full-time job in a private school immediately after graduating college. Then, I met Zhai, who ignited my advocacy spirit. She was internally screaming about being given a voice and choice. The school listened, but change didn’t happen. Despite that, I remained resilient, supporting her in her fight.
The following year, I met Fil and Kev, whose lives seemed adrift, involved in horrible issues, resulting in sporadic suspensions. I also worked with another student, Gent, who experienced academic failure twice but was committed to graduating that third try. With focused guidance, redirection, and support, they all graduated high school.
Until I met Vin, whose exceptional abilities were overshadowed by multiple inequities, he was not provided the opportunity to maximize his potential nor discover his skills. I was persistently vocal in my belief in equity and quality instruction, but I was silenced and compelled to follow the norms.
Three years later, I found my fire diminishing and took a year off from teaching. I entered a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Company focusing on sales. The opportunity uncovered a hoarded skill in me and provided me with financial stability. I earned enough to pursue the career of my choice, but the pull of teaching remained strong, drawing me back toward the profession.
I went back to teaching, and the cycle of meeting people—students, colleagues, mentors, parents, and other stakeholders—added to the vibrant tapestry of my teaching life. Alongside teaching, I assumed roles of a coach in speaking and writing tilts, bringing me all the way to national competitions. I also found fascination in hosting, dancing, acting, journalism, and sports, adding a new dimension to my once monotonous life.
Until my patience was challenged by John and El, who both created frequent trips to the counselor’s and principal’s office because of monthly brawls and biweekly confrontations. While John mellowed and chose the better path, El’s situation worsened because of Ann’s permissive and condescending attitude. There were multiple promissory notes, restorative teaching practices, and counseling services provided, yet things continued to escalate, and his case led to expulsion. The last thing I knew, El moved from one school to another. I felt powerless and defeated because I hadn’t done anything to save the kid.
After a year, I immigrated to Hawaii. Carrying the burden of failure in my heart, I decided to depart from the teaching profession. However, after three years of arriving in Hawaii, my circle of friends, many of whom are educators, are currently in practice. Then I saw myself in a horizon where the doors of schools kept waving and whispers of enticement echoing.
Then a message from El shifted everything. He informed me with excitement that he is currently a Bachelor in Elementary Education student and expressed his gratitude to me for being a part of his journey. Tears welled out of pride and assurance that I didn’t fail to show him the good path though he has been lost multiple times. Yes! He finally found his way back…
Soon after, I found myself sitting inside one of the Hawaii Department of Education school principal’s office for a teaching position interview. The first school to call me for an interview hired me right away. I felt like a phoenix, reborn and ready to face new challenges and surmount difficulties.
I was introduced to Yos and Sul, my first non-English speaking students, who put me in both professional and personal dilemma because of the expectation that I need to assist them in both navigating the US academic system and their identity in a new environment while I, too navigate my own at the same time. However, I found success when I had them speak survival English within the second month and converse in social and academic languages in their sixth month. Additionally, I faced another challenge with Bon, a student with a learning disability who often challenged my authority. But sympathy and empathy worked coupled with learning negotiation and partnership. A year later, I met Lui and his mom Adel, both eager for education. Later, I welcomed Joli, Eli, Heb, Zep, Er, Rill, Hern, EJ, and Lin, all newly enrolled and labeled as “No English,” speaking varied languages like Marshallese, Pohnpei, Chuukese, Spanish, Ukrainian and Russian. They all challenged me to strengthen my teaching pedagogy, build my ESL/ELD teacher capacity, and help expand my colleagues’ capacity to support their diverse needs. They also inspired me to seek outside partnerships to ensure that they have equitable opportunities to participate in, like Seal of Biliteracy and Early College Credits. Along the way, parents like Jane and Jen also inspired me to create a more streamlined system of support for English Language Learners and those with dual designation in ELL and Special Education so their children can thrive.
In my fourth year in HIDOE, my coaching skills were challenged by Haunani and Diane, both passionate educators who needed a guide to reach greater heights. Soon after, Pinoy and Nathan joined the teaching force, each with different perspectives of teaching yet united by a shared passion for education and equity. I provided both space and assistance to anchor their aspirations within their intense navigation and sail within the waves of uncertainty.
When conversations lead to questions of why I pursued teaching, my typical response is a smile—as clarity eluded me. But now, I’m better equipped with a reason…
I became a teacher because of Riz, Jen, Ville, Joyce, and Charm, who had low self-esteem but needed someone to assure them that they could do whatever they wanted to and achieve whatever they dream of. Five unique individuals who are now content in their chosen professions.
I remain a teacher because of students like Zhai, who once needed an advocate but is now a great advocate for others… Students like Fil, Kev, and Gent, who exemplified the transformative power of second and third chances to live anew, are now all self-made entrepreneurs…like Vin, who has proven that equitable opportunities and systems can help him blossom infinitely into his highest potential, is now a professor in a College Institution.
I am a resilient educator because of students like John and El who can testify that even the worst can become good with profound growth. I am a better educator because of Yos, Sul, Bon, Lui, Joli, Eli, Heb, Zep, Er, Rill, Hern, EJ, and Lin, and many other students belonging to subgroups who have shown me the possibilities of impossibilities. Bon met his IEP goal that year, El earned her early college credit within her first year in the US, and Joli has now earned an early college credit in Linguistics and is now well-equipped to be a translator in Marshallese.
I am a teacher leader because of educators like Haunani, Diane, Pinoy, and Nathan whose unique journeys mirror the same uniqueness and diversity of our students but have grown into outstanding leaders in their own right and are headed for more.
And I am a teacher with true humanity because of parents like Ana, Adel, Jen, and Jane, whose presence opened my eyes about the transformation I am making and that I can create more of a ripple of support to everyone around me—that I am not just teaching but touching lives across generations.
Now, I have exited from a tunnel of uncertainty of why I became a teacher. I am a teacher because I was initially forced to but is actually predestined to be one. However, I had chosen and committed myself to the choice to stay as a teacher.
If someone asks me how many years I will spend teaching, I won’t give them a smile anymore but a face of commitment with my echoing statement… I will be a teacher as long as one needs change and until others see the value of my existence and the role I can play in creating the needed positive change in education and in society.
